I love it when teens try to scam me, mostly because they're almost always incredibly bad at it, but they think they're the most clever and intelligent person ever. Tonight was apparently the night for attempted scams, as I had several enjoyable moments.
A young man came in and asked to use a computer. When we looked him up in our circulation computer, we discovered that he was only 11. Kids need to be 13 to use the teen area, so we told him to go to the Children's Department. I then had the following conversation with the kid.
"According to your computer record, you're only eleven. When's your birthday?"
"August something, 1994"
"Well, that would make you twelve, not thirteen."
"No! 2007 minus 1994 makes 13. I'm thirteen."
"You'll be 13 in August if you were born in 1994."
"Oh - I meant I was born in 1995. I mean 1993. No, wait!"
He didn't get a computer.
I had another kid swear to me that he had already paid his fines, a girl who tried to convince me that she was her sister (despite the fact that her sister is a volunteer, and thus very well known to me), and a boy who told me that his mother was an invalid and couldn't come in to sign the paper to get him internet permission. This was my favorite, as approximately 2 minutes later his "invalid" mother appeared behind him and said "Boy, I told you you wasn't getting no Internet, so stop lyin' to the lady!" before dragging him away.
I managed to not laugh until I had reached my office, which I think really deserves some kind of prize.