Last night, we had a talent show for teens. We had a wonderful turnout, although I was surprised at how many people brought their entire families with them. Normally we only allow teens at teen events, but I did make an exception last night since everybody wants to see his or her kid perform. I did have one conversation, however, that reminded me of why we normally keep adults out.
Angry Father: That other girl (one of my staff members) told me that this might not be okay for my four year old!
Snarky Librarian: That's true...
AF [cutting me off]: That's ridiculous! Are you telling me that kids might curse? This is a library! Don't you have standards? I'm going to write a letter to somebody!
SN: Sir, all of our performers were given guidelines, and inappropriate performances are not allowed. However --
AF: I'm writing a letter to someone! What if some kid stands up and is all grabbing his junk? [standing up to demonstrate - what the hell?] You going to let that happen?
SN: Sir, inappropriate performances will be stopped. However --
AF: I'm writing a letter! Cursing at the library! I'm writing a letter!
SN: Sir, what is appropriate for a sixteen year old is different from what is appropriate for a four year old. I can't guarantee -
AF: I'm writing a letter to someone! The library is about education! Anything you do should be okay for everyone!
SN: Sir, this was specifically advertised as a teen event. If you feel that it is not appropriate for your four year old, my best recommendation is that you not expose her to it. Is there anything else I can help you with right now?
AF [wandering away]: I'm writing a letter to someone...[mutters to self].
My favorite threat - a letter to the mysterious "someone." Why do people insist on dragging their young children to everything? Who would have imagined that a teen event might not be appropriate for a four year old? I know I'm dumbfounded by the very idea!
Later, the winner of the talent show was a very obviously, openly gay guy who danced to a Christina Aguilera song. I overheard Mr. Appropriate telling everyone in earshot that it was wrong for a "fucking fag" to win. Yes, his four-year-old was right there as he swore.
I really hope that he includes that in his "letter to someone."