Sister's Keeper

A conversation from yesterday....

Girl (to friends): My mom said I can smack my sister if she's not good. See, watch! (Reaches to hit younger sister)
Me: You can't hit people in the library.
Girl: I can hit my sister! My mom said I can!
Me: You're not allowed to hit anyone in the library, even your sister. If you do, I'll have to ask you to leave.
Girl: Fine! I'ma tell my mom you tryin to get me to disobey her. (Walks away, muttering).

And a conversation from today....
Mother: You the woman who told my daughter she don't have to obey me?
Me: Excuse me?
Mother: Yesterday you told my daughter she can't hit her sister. Well, I told her she can! You gonna kick her out for obeying me?
Me: Ma'am, it's against the rules for anyone to hit someone else in the library. (I pull out our written rules and show her where it says that any violent behavior will not be tolerated).
Mother: Fine! I'ma have her go outside if she has to hit her sister.
Mother storms away.
I drop my head and bang it against the desk.

Stupid Parent Tricks

I have come to the conclusion that I have never met a child or teen who can possibly irritate me as much as the adults, especially parents, who come in to the library.

Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of caring, involved, intelligent parents out there, many of whom I've had the privilege of meeting. Unfortunately, there's something about summer at the library that brings out all of the idiot parents. Here are just a few that I've had to deal with lately.

1) The "my child is a genius" parent. So far this summer I have had to explain to three different parents why I wouldn't register their eight or nine year olds for the teen book discussion. I don't care how high her reading level is, I'm not putting her in a discussion group with 17-year-olds. End of discussion.

2) The "my child never does anything wrong" parent. No matter what the issue is, it is always somebody else's fault. The kid who brought a knife in and threatened a staff member? Clearly the staff member shouldn't have made the kid mad! The child who pushed another child down the stairs? Obviously, the other kid should have moved faster.

3) The "she's really responsible" parent. I don't care how responsible your six year old is. You still can't leave her in the library for seven hours while you go to work. If you leave this building, I'll call child protective services. Also, a ten-year-old can't be left in charge of three toddlers and a baby. And why are all these kids in the teen department, anyway?

4) The "he needs something to do" parent. Yes, I agree that we live in an area without a lot of good services and activities for teens. However, your teen has done something which meant that we banned him or her from the library for a period of time. I will not change that banning period because she's bored, or because he "really wants to come back." Perhaps next time he or she will think twice before cursing out a staff member, damaging library property, or having sex in the stairwell.

5) The "more, more, more" parent. When we plan programs, we try to be as accommodating as possible - offering two different times for the same program, adding extra sessions, etc. If you can't make it to any of the programs, we feel bad. However, we will not schedule a special program just for you because Susie has a swim meet or a birthday party on the original day of the program.

6) The "late but whiny" parent. I can't sign your kids up for the computer program, book discussion, or the annual lock-in because they're full. We have a limited amount of space. We buy 24 books for the book discussoin, and there are 24 kids signed up. We only allow 25 teens at the lock-in, and they're already signed up. See how that works? No, I won't take someone off the list because "my son just wants to go so much!" Other kids want to go too, and they actually signed up on time. Next time, call ahead.

7) The "it's not good enough" parent. Here's the thing, lady (it's always a woman). The summer reading program takes us months to plan. We get sponsors, we plan programs, and we work our butts off so your kid can have a good time. And it's completely free for you. So if you come in ONE MORE TIME and complain that the prizes are "crap," the books you want aren't here, and the library is too full of "dirty little kids," I am going to do something drastic. If you don't want our "cheap, crappy prizes," don't sign up. There, see how easy that was?

Questions from Parents

I actually do enjoy talking to the parents of teens. Many of the teens who come in to the library appear to have been raised by wolves, so it’s nice when a parent is interested and involved in their teen's life. However, some of their questions can be, well…..

“I want a book for my fifteen-year-old. It should be teen book, but without sex or violence, and the kid should get along with her parents.”

“Can you make sure my daughter doesn’t talk to any boys?”

"Why did my son get kicked out? He only hit his sister!"
"Hitting people is not allowed in the library."
"But it was only his sister!"

“I need a book with no conflict.”

“Are there any Harry Potter books without magic?”

“I don’t mind fantasy in books, but I don’t like evil. Do you understand the difference?”

"My son was here for three hours yesterday. Tell me everything he did and everyone he talked to.”

“Do you have any adult movies?”
“Yes, they’re up on the first fl-"
“No, I mean, you know, adult movies. Like, in a different section?”